how to plan a baby after marriage

Hi Everyone!

It’s been over a year now since I last posted anything here on my blog. If you are following me on any of my social media handles you might already know that we have been blessed with a Baby Boy on 31st Jan 2019. And we have been super busy with our little munchkin ever since he arrived. To know more about my motherhood journey I would suggest you to follow me on my Instagram as I keep posting all of my motherhood experiences and our day to day life there. Now that our cute little handsome is one year old (and we have our routine down) I’m getting back at blogging. So, now onward I will keep sharing my motherhood journey here. As of now let’s get back to today’s topic i.e “How & When to plan a Baby after Marriage ”

Well, first let me tell you about US: we got married on 3rd, May 2013 (when I was 27 and my husband was 29 years old) and we both decided very early in our marriage that we will wait at least 4 to 5 years before we will start a family. To be honest we both wanted to know each other better, save enough money, travel, and grow together. We just wanted to be ready for our little one’s arrival; financially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. And that’s what we did; we started planning when we were financially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically ready to start a family. We got pregnant in May 2018 (exactly 5 Years after our marriage) and we are so happy that we waited this much as there couldn’t be a better timing as WE WERE SUPER READY!

How to Plan a Baby

TBH it wasn’t that easy to wait this much long as you all know how our Indian society works. As soon as you get married, all of your relatives start asking you the same questions over and over again: when are you going to have a baby? Why aren’t you having a baby? What are you waiting for? and so on….

So, for that you both need to have thick skin and hard determination so that those questions won’t affect you or make you change your decision. Coz at the end of the day it’s gonna be you two who will be raising your baby and for that you both needs to be prepared in so many ways. Remember, at the end of the day, BOTH OF YOUR lives will be the ones changing drastically, forever, and there are things to think about and prepare for.

So, in this post I’m gonna share things that has helped us plan our pregnacy and I’m sure these things will help some of you too!

Things to consider before starting a family:

As I mentioned above there were few things we needed to work on before starting our family and these are some basic yet quite essential things which everyone should consider working on before going ahead with family planning. Coz preparing for a baby isn’t just about tiny clothes and heartwarming ultrasound photos; it involves a lot of planning and preparations (before we get to that level). Below I have listed few things you need to consider before starting a family:

Have an honest Conversation with Your Partner

The first thing you should do as a couple is to discuss this matter before or right after marriage. That way you both will have an idea of what the other person think about starting a family and after discussion, you can decide when will be best time for both of you to start a family. There’s also a lot of evidence to show that partners who enter parenthood intentionally have better outcomes for their relationship and for their child. So, be in it together!

Know Each Other Better and Work on Your Relationship:

Even after timeline is set, couple should work on their own relationship coz it will be better for them as well as for their baby. Some people have children to repair an ailing relationship but this doesn’t always work. To be parents it’s quite important to be in love with each other. Ask yourselves if you’re ready to commit to perhaps 20 years together as parents. It’s a big question. So, work on your relationship first then go ahead with the family planning.

Save Enough Money:

Once you are okay with the timeline start saving money for your baby coz raising a child is expensive. Look long and hard at your finances and work out how you’ll manage. That’s why I think it’s better to wait and try to save, or you might decide to go ahead and manage somehow (there is no right answer). But it’s always better to be financially prepared for the new arrival.

Have a Healthy Lifestyle:

By actively pursuing good health, proper nutrition and removing potential harmful things from your life before conceiving will increase your chances of a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. So, both of you should start living a healthy lifestyle long before you start your family planning. Trust me there are so many things that you might think do not really have any bearing on whether or not you and your partner have a healthy baby, but the more we study, the more you will find that what you do before you get pregnant (or before you know you’re pregnant) really does have a huge effect on the health of your pregnancy and baby for a lifetime. So, it’s better for both of you to start living a healthy and happly life.

Work on your Spiritual, Emotional and Mental Well Being:

As I mentioned above for us it was quite essential to work on our mental, spiritual and physical well being before we started thinking of getting pregnant. And I think it’s quite important (not just for us but) for every parent to be mentally and spiritually ready for the baby’s arrival. Remember that before nurturing anyone else you should nurture yourself first. So, start doing things which makes you grounded, peaceful and happy. For me reading/watching/listening to spiritual content, doing meditation and Pranayama has always worked. And for you it could be anything, anything that connects you to your true self and make you feel happy, peaceful and grounded; do that often (taking good care of your all-round well being will also have a positive effect on your baby as well).

And once both of you are at the same page and ready for the next level of your relationship, you guys can start thinking of getting pregnant.

Once you have already worked on all aspects of your life as mentioned above the next step will be ” How to conceive” and that will be a whole another blog-post itself. So, you will have to wait for that one.

So are thinking about trying to get pregnant?

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